Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Grocery Shopping with Cart Wielding Zombies!

While I consider cell phones to be the root of all that is evil, they aren't the only technological devices that can turn a human into a zoned-out zombie. Take the iPad, for example.

In the UK, a leading supermarket chain is adding iPad docking stations to their shopping carts. No, really, they are. When you first hear this, it sounds like a great idea - Never miss another episode of Jersey Shore again!! - once you think this one through, you can see it for the bad idea it really is.

Imagine a bunch of iPad zombies, watching the soccer match to the exclusion of everything else, wielding METAL SHOPPING CARTS full of food through narrow grocery store aisles. Grocery stores full of little old ladies shopping for cat food and kids that won't stop screaming for candy. What you have here is a recipe for disaster.

Fortunately for us, the grocery store chain has already prepared for this scenario. The new shopping cart "features proximity sensors, meaning users won’t accidentally bump into other shoppers while watching the iPad."

Attention, world. We already have "proximity sensors". They're called EYES. And if you didn't have them glued to your iPad, you'd be able to see the little old ladies and screaming children in your path. Instead of proximity sensors, how about we concede that this is not a good idea. I think we can all do without our iPad stimulus for the short duration of our shopping trip.

Although slamming a few carts into screaming kids... no. I won't go there ;)


  1. I was reading your post while on my iPad and tripped over a grocery cart.

  2. I also wanted to add that many times I see police driving while talking on cellphones.